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Common Questions

Symptoms of Anxiety:

Typically, those who suffer from prolonged anxiety experience a range of symptoms, including:

  • Excessive worry about health, money, family, work, or school performance—even when there are no signs of trouble
  • Irrational expectations of the worst outcome in many situations
  • Inability to relax
  • Irritability
  • Insomnia
  • Tiredness
  • Headaches
  • Muscle tension
  • Difficulty swallowing
  • Trembling or twitching
  • Frequent urination

Symptoms of Depression:

Not everyone who is depressed or manic experiences every symptom. Some people experience a few symptoms, some many. Severity of symptoms varies with individuals and also varies over time.

  • Persistent sad, anxious, or empty mood
  • Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
  • Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
  • Insomnia, early morning awakening or oversleeping
  • Appetite and/or weight loss, or overeating and weight gain
  • Thoughts of death or suicide, suicide attempts
  • Restlessness, irritability
  • Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders and chronic pain

Symptoms of Codependency:

  • Low self-esteem: feeling that you’re not good enough or comparing yourself to others; feelings of shame, guilt and perfectionism often go along with low self-esteem.
  • People-pleasing: saying “No” causes you anxiety.  
  • Poor boundaries: feeling responsible for other people’s feelings and problems or blaming your own on someone else. 
  • Reactivity: feeling threatened by differing opinions or disagreements.
  • Care-taking: when excessive, you want to help people to the point that you give up yourself.  
  • Control: to feel safe and secure through the control of others to the need for others to control you.
  • Dysfunctional communication: fear of being truthful, because you don’t want to upset someone else.
  • Obsessions: about people, mistakes, dreams, responsibilities, etc.
  • Dependency: a need for other people to like you to feel okay about yourself. Excessive fear of rejection or abandonment. 
  • Denial: deny your feelings and needs; become excessively needy for others to meet your needs or are deny vulnerability and your need for love and intimacy.
  • Problems with intimacy: being open and close with someone in an intimate relationship. Either fear being judged, rejected or left OR fear being smothered in a relationship and losing your autonomy.  

Symptoms of Perfectionism:

  • Feel like you fail at everything you try
  • Procrastinate regularly — you might resist starting a task because you’re afraid that you’ll be unable to complete it perfectly
  • Struggle to relax and share your thoughts and feelings
  • Become very controlling in your personal and professional relationships
  • Become obsessed with rules, lists, and work, or alternately, become extremely apathetic

Symptoms of Low/No Self-worth:

  • Don’t think you deserve more.
  • Don’t demand the best life.
  • Don’t stand up for yourself.
  • Feel like mistakes are fatal.
  • Believe your thoughts and beliefs are reality.
  • Don’t take positive action.
  • Are overly concerned about your appearance.
  • Worry too much about what others think.
  • Compare yourself to others.
  • Fear becomes all consuming.
  • Minimize your accomplishments.
  • Judge yourself harshly. 
  • Don’t please yourself first.
  • Use passive-aggressive communication.
  • Don’t set clear boundaries.
  • Have stunted social skills.
  • Stay in toxic relationships.
  • Don’t trust your instincts and judgments.
  • Put yourself down.
  • Can be paralyzed by people's perceptions.
  • Life feels very black and white.
  • Afraid your true self is not interesting.
  • Ruminate about the past.
  • Are afraid to seek help.

Symptoms of Shame:

  • Wanting to Disappear: Most often, shame causes people to want to bury their heads and disappear — anything to pull out of connection with another person.  
  • Anger: Often it’s easier to blame someone else than to think you may have done something wrong. Anger helps mitigate your own feelings of shame.
  • Self-Blame: Take all the responsibility for a situation rather than objectively looking at your part and the parts of others.
  • Addiction: Using something (alcohol, drugs, food, sex etc.) to give you temporary relief from negative feelings.  

Common warning signs of a troubled relationship:

  • There is continuous bickering.
  • You are withdrawing from one another or using the eye roll often.
  • You don't fight fair (name calling, low blows, etc.).
  • You find yourselves having the same arguments over the same things repetitively.
  • Your fights escalate out of control or to screaming matches.
  • There seems to be a feeling of indifference between you both.
  • One or both of you are started to detach emotionally.
  • You fight in front of your kids without respect or resolution.
  • There is nitpicking and poking at each other without real intention.
  • You no longer enjoy your time together. Your partner prefers to spend free time away from you on a regular basis.
  • You have nothing nice to say to one another.
  • You don't talk with one another about your problems or feelings.
  • You don't respect one another.
  • There is inequality between you both concerning gender roles or decision making.
  • You can't seem to agree on goals and values.
  • You don't trust one another and feel suspicious.
  • The level of sexual intimacy in your relationship is low or there isn't any at all.
  • Teasing has become hurtful.
  • Your partner keeps secrets.
  • You think you are getting sick or having physical complaints due to relationship stress.
  • You don't make time for each other or for new experiences together.
  • Your partner prefers to talk or text on a cell phone that is kept private.
  • Your partner is in frequent contact with old boyfriends or girlfriends via social media.
  • Your partner tries to isolate you from your family and friends.
  • You discover your partner is lying about money, is more frugal than usual, hides money or controls you with money.
  • You are happier when your partner is away from home.
  • You realize that there is emotional and/or physical abuse in your relationship.
  • One or both of you have considered cheating or has cheated -- in real life or online, physically or emotionally.

What is Career Counseling:

Career Counseling is also known as career guidance, is counseling designed to help with choosing, changing, or leaving a career and is available at any stage in life. One's career is often one of the most important aspects of adulthood, and embarking on a new career, whether for the first time, the second time, or any time thereafter, can be a stressful event, especially when economic difficulties such as recession are a factor. A career counselor can help by outlining and discussing one's potential career options.

Common Reasons You May Be Unhappy at Work:

  • You are not respected as people at work. They are viewed as production units, rather than valued collaborators.
  • You don't have the right tools, equipment, information and basic operational requirements You need to do their job. When You ask for tools or guidance You get yelled at or ignored.
  • Your employer disregards your personal life and has no compassion for your obligations outside of work.
  • Your immediate supervisor is a tyrant, unqualified for his/her job or both.
  • You are tired of being lied to.
  • You have no visibility into the future and no confidence your leaders will do the right thing, either from a business standpoint or a human standpoint.
  • You are tired of dealing with the politics in the workplace.
  • You are underpaid and overworked.
  • You go to work every day and push a rock uphill, trying in vain to get forward motion on your projects. You are tired of pushing.
  • You have to watch every word you say and every move you make, because you could get in trouble -- or get fired -- for almost any reason.

    Melissa Counseling & Coaching
    1315 Sam Bass Circle, B1
    Round Rock, TX 78681    
    (512) 381.0833

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